Funnies
New England Temperature Chart
| 60° F |  |
Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe. |
| 50° F | New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens. |
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| 40° F | Italian & English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down. |
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| 32° F | Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker. |
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| 20° F | Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt. |
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| 15° F | New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold. |
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| 0° F | All the people in Miami die. New Englanders close the windows. |
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| -10° F | Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door. |
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| -25° F | Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats. |
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| -40° F | Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors. |
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| -100° F | Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs". |
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| -460° F | All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?" |
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| -500° F | Hell freezes over. * The Red Sox win the World Series. |
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* Officially happened on October 27, 2004. |