From this year's Chick-fil-A calendar, Great Works of Cow Literature:

Steerlock Holmes
Having eluded Scotland Barnyard for years, the mysterious spatula-wielding Jack the Flipper is now at it again. But fast on the tracks of this notorious serial cooker is the keen-eyed inspector Steerlock Holmes. With his trusty sidekick, Wellington, Steerlock has cracked down on some of the most infamous criminals in London's burger-ridden Beefpacking District.

HELP.
ME.
CAN'T.
BREATHE.
DOG.
FART.
NEED.
OXYGEN.

Saturday, we went Geocaching once again. This time, we went around and on Powell Butte. We're trying to get out for a hike at least once every weekend for Oscar's sake as much as ours. We need the exercise and he needs all the practice he can get walking on leash and obeying commands outside, where there are lots of distractions. We made our 200th find on this outing.



The views from atop Powell Butte are supposed to be fantastic. We, however, always seem to pick the cloudiest day to go hiking so we didn't get to see anything. Guess we'll have to visit again in the summer when it's clear.

I often get asked what is in the containers we find when we go Geocaching. At the very minimum, there must be at least a log for you to sign your name to prove you found it. Some caches are so small, the only thing that will fit in them is a tiny, rolled up bit of paper for signing. We tend to avoid those and instead look for ones that are large enough to contain stuff, known as "swag", in addition to the log. Swag is usually inexpensive toys and trinkets. The idea is, if you see something you like, you are free to take it and should leave something in return. We rarely take anything, but I sometimes leave a cow toy. Here are some examples of cache contents:



See, Amber? No poison or bombs.

Yes, this means you, too, stupid lady who let her dog poop in the middle of the path and didn't pick it up!

Man, I hate people.

What is this nonsense? Put me down, woman!

How long do you think it takes me to walk 3.5 miles on a relatively flat paved path? Now, how long do you think it takes me to walk it with my psychotic dog who won't stop pulling? Whatever you guessed, multiply it by at least three. He's gotten so much better in so many areas, but walking on the leash is still one of his biggest issues. He doesn't lunge and rip my arms out of their sockets (thank goodness for that miracle), but he always must have the leash taut and be at least two steps ahead of me, which is unacceptable. After talking with our trainer for a few minutes yesterday and watching an episode of The Dog Whisperer that dealt with this issue, I decided today was the day I was going to "cure" Oscar of this problem. I cut out all verbal communication, claimed my space and just moved forward. If he got ahead of me and started to pull, I stopped, made him sit and waited a few seconds before moving again. It felt like it took us about four hours just to get to the path, never mind actually walking on it. We both struggled with the whole situation for quite a while. I could tell he wasn't comprehending why I was stopping after every third step and he was unsure what to do when we did stop so I used my monkey brain to sort a new solution. From that point on, whenever I stopped, I stuck my foot out and set it in front of him to tell him, "I don't want you walking in front of me. This is why we're stopping." I wasn't kicking him or threatening him in any way. I just claimed my space and made it clear what I wanted from him. Within just a few minutes, he was walking right beside me or even a little behind with a completely slack leash and he did so for the entire remainder of the walk. Even though we've had Oscar for three months now, I'm still amazed at how quickly he learns and, if you take the time to figure out how to tell him what you want, how easy it is to change bad behaviors no matter how ingrained they are. I know we'll have to keep working on this for a while before he totally understands that this his how walks have to go all of the time, but today was a good start and it will come quicker with each new day.

Dear Potential Clients,

When I return your phone call from yesterday to discuss your project and you have absolutely no recollection of calling me or who I am, I get very nervous and my desire to work with you starts heading for the door. When you start pressing buttons on your phone in the middle of our conversation not once, but three times, and nearly cause me permanent hearing loss, my desire to work with you is no longer heading for the door, it's long gone. And, please, don't argue with me when I tell you I'm not able to take new clients at this time. I'm trying to politely decline your project. Accept it and move on.

Thank you,
Moo

My aunt recently sent me some photos from Christmas. This is one of my favorites.

That's me, in the middle (duh), along with my aunts (my dad's two sisters).

"NAME THAT MOVIE" CONTEST - 193

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Josie's best friend lately has been a mouse.

So what if it's fake and full of catnip? It's still a mouse. :-P"

While my improvised method of teaching Oscar how to walk with a loose leash worked really well the other day, he's still struggling a bit with whole concept. Assuming his previous owner ever even took him for walks, he's been pulling on the leash his whole life so not pulling is a very foreign concept and is proving difficult to master. We've decided to try yet another new method based on what Cesar Milan teaches. Up until now, we walked Oscar with a regular non-retractable clip leash attached to his collar, which sits very low on his neck. According to Cesar, this is not the best location for correcting. He recommends having the leash way up high on the neck just behind the head. Since Oscar isn't a pull-until-I-choke-myself-into-unconsciousness type of dog, we've gotten out the slip lead (instead of fastening with a clip, it's just a loop that goes around the neck and tightens if you pull on it) the shelter gave us when we adopted him. Normally, we would never use it because, if he were to pull hard, it could damage his trachea, but we know him well enough now to feel safe using it.

I'm happy to report, so far, it's working really well. He's walking right next to us now with very few corrections and, when we do correct, it's very small and he responds really well. Because his little peanut head is so tiny and it doesn't take much for him to wiggle out of the slip lead, we're still attaching the regular leash to his collar for safety. I thread that leash through my belt loops to a carabiner I wear clipped to the opposite side. It just hangs loose the whole time and all of the communicating is done through the slip lead, but at least I know, if he were to squirm out of the slip lead, he'd still be attached to me and not running amok in the street or something. We must look a sight walking a 12 pound dog with two leashes, but it's what is working for us and we will continue on with it. It's too bad other people are too afraid of looking foolish to even try it because, as we see every single day, there are a lot of dogs out there who could use the help.

Mr Moo's Christmas present arrived in the mail a few weeks ago.

I got him six packages of undershirts (18 total) and six packages of socks (36 pairs total). I also ordered three packages of boys' undershirts for me. That should tide us over for a while. Although, the way his Velociraptor toenails have been going through socks lately, I'm not so sure.

Let me sing for you. La la la la la! I am the next American Idol!

Lord Oscar will be spending the day at the vet's tomorrow. He'll be going under anesthesia to have his teeth thoroughly cleaned and a skin tag removed from his chin. As far as the vet can tell, Oscar probably never saw a vet until he was rescued last year and he certainly never had his teeth cleaned. He has terrible tartar build-up, several broken teeth and maybe a cavity or two. Keep your fingers crossed that it's not too bad and he won't have to have any teeth pulled.

Just got word that Lord Oscar survived his procedure. He's just starting to wake up from the anesthesia. I was hoping he'd be coming home right after lunch, but they won't release him until at least 1530. There was one tooth that was rotten, loose and wasn't going to survive so they pulled it. Other than that, everything looked good and went well. In addition to all of today's work (anesthesia, cleaning, tooth extraction and skin tag removal), Mr Moo will also be paying for a bag full of meds when he picks up Oscar. Josie will be getting a refill on her kidney medicine and another round of antibiotics to manage her recurrent bladder infection. And both monkeys will be getting a fresh box of Advantage flea medicine to get us through the summer. I can't want to see this bill. Oy!

The vet sent a pile of paperwork home with Oscar yesterday. It included information about his recovery, before and after photos of his teeth, and a dental status chart. As I mentioned yesterday, they had to pull one tooth, which they marked on the chart. What we didn't know is he was already missing two teeth, of which they also made note.

Hopefully, now that we're getting him regular veterinary care, he won't have any more dental issues. After reading through the papers a bit more, I found a small typo that made me chuckle. Oscar was looking a bit thin after Christmas so we increased how much we feed him to see if we could get a few more pounds on him. I could tell he had gotten heavier just by looking at him, but had no idea how much he had gained. Get a load of his weight chart:

Over twenty pounds in less than four weeks? Now that is some serious weight gain! :-)

"NAME THAT MOVIE" CONTEST - 194

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We took Stuka to the avian vet clinic today. He's been feeling a little icky (throwing up, green poop and chattering non-stop even in the middle of the night) and I wanted to get him checked out before it turned into another raging infection that brings him to the brink of death again. They didn't have any open appointments, but they offered to work him in if we could leave him there for a few hours. We dropped him off right after lunch and took advantage of the nice weather to take a short hike and grab a couple geocaches with the muttley.

One of the caches we found had real money in it!

It was just a few dollars. We left it for someone else, who needs it more than we do, to find.

We made our way back to the clinic after a few hours. Much to my delight, Stuka didn't have an infection after all. He has a crop/throat irritation that's bothering him. The closest human disorder the doctor could relate it to is acid reflux - kind of, sort of, but not really since bird tummies aren't all that acidic. I don't recall the exact explanation. I just know it's a crop issue. She said the chronic chattering is a birdy version of coughing and he's throwing up because his throat hurts. We have some medicine to put in his water for the next couple weeks and should see an improvement in 3-5 days.

For my birthday last year, my aunt sent me one of these cute microwave mini-cake kits.

I finally got around to making it over the weekend. Isn't it cute?

It didn't fare very well being shaken out of the cooking container (thus all the crumbs and broken bits), but it still tasted okay. Happy Birthday plus four months to me!

Josie and Oscar got me a card for Valentine's Day.

The inside reads: In our own weird way, we work. Oh, if only they got along so well. I can still dream.

It finally happened. Oscar ran away today. We were working on "Come!" off leash in the grassy area up the hill behind our house. I don't know if he wasn't feeling well, but I could tell something was off about him from the moment we left the house. He lagged way behind on the walk and he wasn't responding as well as he normally does once we started working on his training. At some point, he got a whiff of something interesting in someone else's yard and took off. I called him about a million times and he totally ignored me. As I started approaching to get him, he took off around the far side of the house. My heart totally sank as I thought about him heading for the main road and getting run over. I cut through on the near side of the house to try to intercept him, but, by the time I reached the sidewalk, he was long gone and I had no idea where. I asked some women walking down the street if they had seen him and they hadn't, which gave me a bit of hope he hadn't gone down the street. I went behind the house and back into the field again to call for him some more. It was then I spotted him. He must have back tracked when I was trying to head him off. He was down the hill in the pond area directly behind our house and running around like an idiot. I knew if I screamed at him, he wouldn't respond so I summoned all my strength to stay calm and call him once more. He finally listened and started heading up the hill towards me. It was all I could do to not choke him once he reached me, but I managed to refrain, leashed him up and headed home. Little doggy, HUGE trouble.

Up to this point, his off leash training has been going okay. He comes when called most of the time, but not always. I know a big part of the reason we don't have 100% success is my voice. I sometimes struggle to sound assertive and that's when he has the most trouble. In order to remove this variable, I decided to try training him with a whistle instead. There is no doubt in the sound of a whistle. I ordered a couple of them a few days ago and they showed up in the mail this afternoon.

Perfect timing. I started loading them tonight and we'll start training in earnest with them this weekend.

A couple weeks ago, I ordered a reflective safety vest for Oscar. Since he's almost all black and Mr Moo walks him late at night, he needs to be much more visible. Based on the measurement chart, I ordered a size small. It was huge! It didn't even come close to fitting him. I ordered a new one in size x-small and it arrived a couple days ago.

It fits much, much better. Mr Moo and Oscar took it out for its first spin tonight.



Now that we know he will run away if given the chance, I feel better knowing he can be seen at night.

He would sit there and let me hold him all day.

He's almost as bad as the cat.

Oscar's whistle training was "meh" today. He came most of the time, but not always. There are so many distractions outside. He does great for several minutes then gets a whiff of something better and wanders off. We're not sure what we need to do when he loses focus like that. We have a couple more hours of private obedience classes to take still. We'll definitely be asking about it and seeing if there's something we can do to help him learn better. In the meantime, we'll keep practicing.

"NAME THAT MOVIE" CONTEST - 195

Click here for the entry form.

"NAME THAT MOVIE" CONTEST - 196

Click here for the entry form.